Financial Infidelity Explained By An Auckland Divorce Coach
Women can find themselves in a situation of financial abuse, particularly when they choose to leave work to raise children. With this gradual change, the man in the relationship will begin to take control of the finances. While they may have access to money through credit or EFTPOS cards, when the relationship dissolves, they often do not have access or even worse, their account can be stripped bare. An Auckland divorce coach has some insights.
Financial Power
Financial power and control happen not just during the relationship but is a common threat or weapon when people separate. An initial response is that the man will try to force the woman into accepting a settlement that is to her disadvantage, but it is also a common occurrence that women may be left with little to nothing at the end of a relationship.
Yes, it is important to know not only a client’s share portfolio and crypto currency investments, but also the ownership status of their car(s). Many have been surprised to find that a vehicle that was thought to be owned is actually a leased one, leaving them without reliable transport to fulfill essential everyday needs.
Not having a clear picture of the family’s finances can be a big factor as to whether to divorce or not, says an Auckland divorce coach.
Staying on top of your finances is essential; not only to avoid a divorce, but in case the primary earner becomes very ill or incapacitated or passes away. Without a thorough understanding of your financial situation and access to bank accounts, stress and hardship can become compounded by the more pressing and difficult situation can lead to more distress.
If your relationship is being affected by financial infidelity, such as hiding an addiction to gambling, drugs, alcohol, or having an affair, or compulsive shopping, it is important to have a serious conversation and take back control of the family finances. Make sure you have access to all accounts and have your own emergency fund.
Financial Control And Abuse
Surprising as it may be, family violence often leads to financial abuse in which the abuser deliberately exerts power and control by seizing control of their victim’s finances. This is particularly true in cases of female victims with significant earnings within a company; where they are forced to hand over all wages and bonuses to their spouse.
They find themselves having to justify their purchase of something as simple as a cup of coffee, despite limited money to be able to dress their children – and themselves – accordingly, having to account for every last dollar spent.
Many women in this situation are oblivious to the fact that this is constituted as family violence and financial abuse, since they haven’t been physically abused. Constant verbal warnings that “there is no money” are used to manipulate them and stop them from questioning where all the money has gone, lest they face repercussions.
Abuse Takes Many Forms
Financial abuse is particularly cunning, as a woman is frequently made to feel that having all money going to her partner’s account initially seems reasonable, however, this is soon changed by the abuser altering passwords et cetera, thus cutting her off from access.
If you find yourself in this type of situation and you are considering leaving, it is critical to have a plan and a support system in place for you while seeking out professional guidance. Doing so is a necessity to help minimize any control that may be exerted over you due to a lack of access to money.
The goal of an abuser is to attain dominance over you. Having no access to money can make you feel confined and have you believing that you are stuck in this discordant relationship with no escape. However, you are capable of finding a way out.
Get Help
Starting to consider leaving an abusive relationship can be overwhelming and frightening. However, with the right assistance, it can be done. Using the services of an expert at the earliest stage is recommended in order to understand the various options and available support.
Financial abuse can be difficult to escape from, but there is a way out. Rather than enduring its damaging effects, it is better to be in charge of the situation. Remaining in this abusive environment will only cause more damage in the long run. Therefore, it is essential to be proactive in order to overcome this difficult situation.